Do not play the blaming game.
Do not get aggressive.
Do not moralize and preach.
Do not advise and teach unless asked for.
Do not interrogate.
-Richard Nelson &Jones
LISTEN TO THE CHILDREN
Take a moment to listen today
To what your children are trying to say.
Listen today, whatever you do,
Or they won’t be there to listen to you.
Listen to their problems, listen for their needs;
Praise their smallest triumphs, praise their smallest deeds.
Tolerate their chatter, amplify their laughter.
Find out what’s the matter, find out what they’re after.
But tell them that you love them, every single night.
And though you scold them, make sure you hold them,
And tell them “Everything’s all right”.
If we tell our children all the bad in them we see,
They’ll grow up exactly how we hoped they’d never be.
But if we tell our children, we’re so proud to wear their name,
They’ll grow up believing they’re the winners in the game!
Take a moment to listen today
To what your children are trying to say.
Listen today, whatever you do
And they will come back to listen to you!
-Anon
6. AVOID ARGUMENT
· There is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument- and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes.
· Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right.
· You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.
· You may have heard this one: Here lies the body of William Jay,
He was right, dead right, as he sped along,
But he’s just as dead as if he were wrong.
-From The
Your fate in an argument could be the same!
· You can be seduced into an argument with someone, find yourself all upset, your blood pressure up, your ulcer seeds planted, moving toward violence, and then leave the situation, calling that normal. But it is not normal, it is self-defeating victimization.-Dr
· You can learn the art of disagreeing without being disagreeable, and you can stand up for yourself without being cantankerous.
· The most important thing in an argument, next to being right, to leave
An escape hatch for your opponent, so that he can gracefully swing over to your side without too much apparent loss of face .-Sydney J. Harris
· The destructive consequences of anger scarcely require stating. Its two main negative forms are hostility and withdrawal. Such behavior can lead to alienation and distress in relationships to the point of total breakdown.
· Anger can also have positive consequences. Possessing angry feelings does not in itself destroy relationships, but handling them poorly may do so. Anger can be a signal for yourself and your partner that something is wrong and requires attention. This should be a cue to examine your own behavior and not just that of your partner. It can be an energizer leading to assertive requests for behavioral change and to confronting festering conflicts. Also anger can be a purge so that afterwards you may calm down and be more rational. In a loving relationship partners can work out rules that allow their anger to be used for constructive purposes such as the above rather than to tear each other apart. –Richard Nelson Jones
· The gentleman is distinguished for his self-respect. He values his character, not so much because it can be seen by others, but because it can be seen by himself. And as he respects himself, so does he respect others. Humanity is sacred in his eyes. From it come politeness and forbearance, kindness and charity. – S.Smiles
· “Civility,” said Lady Montague, “costs nothing and buys everything.” The cheapest of all things is kindness. To use it requires the least trouble and self-sacrifice. “Win hearts”, said Burleigh to Queen Elizabeth, “and you have all men’s hearts and purses.” Little courtesies may separately appear of little intrinsic value. But they acquire importance from repetition and accumulation.
· Manners are the ornament of action. There is a way of speaking a kind word or of doing a kind deed, which greatly enhances their value.
· Gentleness in society is a silent influence, which gives color to all nature. It is far more powerful than loudness or force, and far more fruitful. Even a kind look will give pleasure and confer happiness.
· Always give suggestions, not order. Instead of saying, for example, “do this” or “do that” or “don’t do this” or “don’t do that,” one could say, “you might consider this, “ or “do you think that would work?” Always give people the opportunity to do things themselves; let them learn from their mistakes. It is technique like that saves a person’s pride and gives him or her a feeling of importance. It encourages cooperation.
· There is an amusing incident told concerning two great writers, viz., Bernard Shaw and G.K. Chesterton. The former was tall and lean, while the latter was short and stout. Once, when they both came face to face, Chesterton laughed and said, “If people looked at you, they might think a famine has come to
“And if they looked at you,” replied Shaw, good humouredly, “they would know whom to blame!”
· We often laugh at the oddities and weaknesses of others but not at our own. We must learn to laugh at ourselves.
It has been rightly said that the person who can laugh at himself is a delight to be with: he applies to his ills and errors the most soothing balm the human spirit has desired – laughter.- Dada Jashan Vaswani
· Cheerfulness, it is believed, is the greatest lubricant of the wheels of life. It diminishes pain, fights disease, mitigates misfortunes, lightens burdens and eases one’s life.
· Laughter begins in the lungs and diaphragm, setting the liver, the stomach and other internal organs into quick jelly – like vibrations, which give a pleasant sensation and exercise almost equal to that of riding on horseback. Indeed, even the deepest breathing will not ventilate the lungs so thoroughly as a few seconds of hearty laughter will.
· Swani Vivekananda once thundered to his disciples “What business do you have with clouded faces? It is terrible. If you have clouded faces, do not go out that day, shut yourself up in your room. What right have you to carry this disease out into the world?”
· “Laughter”, says Dr Wilde, “provides a rhythmic movement of the abdominal muscles, gently massages the intestinal organs, improves digestion and blood circulation.”
· New clichés and prescription given by modern physicians are being displayed in hospitals and clinics. “Laugh your way to health”; “laughter may be hazardous to your illness”; “cheerfulness is the new wonder drug”, are some of them.
· A sense of humor can conquer pretence and subdue inflated egos. It can diffuse anger and hostility. It can tame an impossible situation and change it to an acceptable one. Victor Bore said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” A sense of humor helps others in times of change by acting as an emotional safety valve. Research has shown that people and organizations rarely succeed unless some fun or humor is involved.
· A proverb in the Bible tells us: ”A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” In this regard, Dr William Fry, a psychiatrist with
Fashion each part with care;
When it’s strong as your hand can make it,
Put all your troubles there;
Hide there all thought of your failures,
And each bitter cup that you quaff;
Lock your all heartaches within it,
Then sit on the lid and laugh!
Tell no one else its contents,
Never its secrets share;
When you’ve dropped in your care and worry
Keep them forever there;
Hide them from sight so completely
That the world will never dream half;
Fasten the strong box securely –
Then sit on the lid and laugh!
Bertha Adam Bachus
LAUGHTER HAS NO FOREIGN ACCENT…
· Laughter lowers the pulse rate and blood pressure, and, because it encourages deeper breathing, also increase the supply of oxygen to the tissues. It provides a natural high by increasing the production of endorphins – neurochemicals responsible for enhanced positive mood and feelings of confidence in the brain. Vigorous laughter induces muscles relaxation, reducing the effects of stress.
· Relationships can also benefit from laughter, says Dr Jerry Day, who offers a year’s free supply of humorous thoughts for the day by email at www.selfhelpcenter.com/oneyear.htm. “Laughter eases tension between people and builds respect between individuals.”
· Except man , no animal in the whole existence has a sense of humor. Can you expect a buffalo to laugh? Can you expect a donkey to have sense of humor?- Osho
· Never ask, “Who is my real friend?” Ask, “Am I real friend to somebody?” That is the right question. Friendship need not be addressed to anyone in particular; that is also a rotten idea, that you have to be friends with a certain person – just be friendly. Rather than creating friendship, create friendliness. Let it become a quality of your being, a climate that surrounds you, so you are friendly with whomsoever you come in contact.
Life is a mirror, it reflects your face. Be friendly, and all of life will reflect friendliness.
Have you ever said hello to a tree? Try it, and one day you will be surprised: the tree also says hello in her tongue, in her own language. Hug a tree, and a day will come soon when you will feel that it was not only you who was hugging. The tree has no hands, but it has its own way of expressing its joy, its sadness, its anger, its fear.
· Why is it so difficult to relate?
To relate is one of the greatest things of life: to relate means to love, to relate means to share. But before you can share, you must have. And before you can love you must be full of love, overflowing with love.
Two seeds cannot relate, they are closed. Two flowers can relate; they are open, they can send their fragrances to each other, they can dance in the same sun and in the same wind, they can have a dialogue, they can whisper. But that is not possible for two seeds. Seeds are utterly closed, windowless – how to relate?-Osho
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